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Little Girl Found




I was never a realist. I preferred to live in a fantasy world where I wanted to be in control of arranging every scene pertaining to my life. I chose to ignore certain things, overlook certain details, and unbeknownst to me, I compromised so much.

I’ve come to realize however, though I take accountability for my mistakes, (after all we reap what we sow), it was essential in order to draw me to the God of HOPE.

Being independent and having a defense mechanism was to me, a survival mode.

When I made the decision to give my life to the Lord, I remember feeling a hunger. Such a hunger that I didn’t own a bible, yet I was determined to read about the Saviour I had just let enter into the heart that had been trampled and broken.

I didn’t have the luxury of going out to purchase a bible. I was a single mom raising 3 girls, therefore I printed every book from the internet. (True story) I had about 5 huge binders filled with the Old Testament, and the New testament. Every night when the girls were tucked away in their beds, I would pull these binders out from underneath my bed and get lost. Escaping the realities of a harsh world I lived in.

I can appreciate and laugh at my determination and somehow, I imagine the Lord laughing right along with me and not at me. He knew my heart.

Needless to say, this fire inside of me subsided. Not because I didn’t have an interest in serving the Lord, but because I had no idea there was more to this great God who loves me. I guess you can say I became complacent and somehow, I just slipped out the back door. Don’t get me wrong, I believed in God, but hadn’t gotten to the point in my walk where I believed Him. Now I can say that thru those distant encounters, I was brought to a crossroad in my walk where I received a true revelation of his power, his majesty and his sovereignty.

I was brought to a place where, though I have not yet arrived and just like you, never will, I’m finding my way solely and only by the Power of his Love.

I begin this journey in hopes that even as I write, the Holy spirit will continue to bring forth those areas that I can be transparent and share. Hoping that in every detail, the Lord’s glory will be exposed.

As I allow the gift of writing flow under the guidance of the Holy spirit, I remind myself that it is about being transparent in order to be transformed.

On a Sunday morning before service, I was fellowshipping with a sister in christ who like me, expresses herself thru writing. We spoke about how difficult it may sometimes become because as you’re writing, you tend to reflect on the past. This is the only way the truth can set us free. By allowing the Holy spirit to dig deep into those areas that are embedded that long for freedom.
My prayer is, "May I stay free to write and write to be free."

2 Corinthians 3:17
Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.

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